8. Church Bullies

Do you remember those obnoxious kids from your school years whom you prayed each night you wouldn’t see the next day? Maybe they were the ones who would beat you up for your lunch money, or perhaps they were the mean girls whose assaults were more verbal than physical. Either way, bullies are bullies. They aren’t nice. They make kids cry. They wreak havoc on our self esteem. We seem helpless and cower when they’re around.

Now skip forward a couple of decades. Instead of being in school, you’re in church. There’s a guy in your church who’s always making a scene at business meeting. He stomps out of any service that’s not to his liking because of any number of reasons:

a. The music was composed after 1937

b. He doesn’t think the speaker is worthy to be heard

c. Something’s happening in the service that “we didn’t vote on”

d. The temperature is too hot or too cold

e. And many, many more reasons.

He does a somewhat decent job of hiding behind the façade of holiness and purity of doctrine, but he is a bully. A church bully, to be exact. When he doesn’t get his way he accuses, stirs up trouble, and rants that the church of today is going to hell in a hand basket (a term I have yet to figure out). He may even stir up trouble outside the church by writing a letter to the editor of the local newspaper or your state Baptist paper, complaining about the goings on at the church.

Most people in the church don’t particularly like him, but they tolerate him because they’re under the impression that “Jesus loves him, so I guess we have to as well.” This church bully is similar to the school bully who would put his fist in your face and demand money. But there is another kind of bully lurking in the pews of your church – the power bully.

The power bully doesn’t raise his voice or make a public spectacle of himself like his counterpart does. If he lost his cool, he would lose the respect and power that he craves. Most likely he’s respected by many in the congregation. However, his death grip on the position (or positions) of power in the church often sucks the joy out of ministry. Because of his power and influence, the programs, people, policies, and personnel (my alliteration gives away that I’m a pastor, doesn’t it?) he doesn’t approve of somehow go away.

How does one handle a church bully? Of course, it is easier to say how to do it than it is to actually do it. But often it’s like ripping off the bandage stuck to the hair on your arm – you just have to grit your teeth, yank it off, and endure the short-lived pain. In 1961, the episode “Opie and the Bully” of The Andy Griffith Show taught us how to stand up to those who terrorize your life. Opie was constantly harassed on the way to school by a bigger boy who demanded Opie’s lunch money with the threat of a “knuckle sandwich.” Opie learned the lesson through his Pa that you first try to work out things diplomatically. If that doesn’t work, then you’ve got to stand up to the bully, take your licks, and get on with life. If you don’t do this, you’ll live your life constantly cowering around the bully.

Whether it’s at school or at church, this is what has to happen. Good luck!